Couples counseling helps one understand the manner in which they’re relating that feels disruptive, disconnected, or unfulfilling. Together we positively work with those interior states so as to foster greater awareness of the authentic Self and to engender some healing for long term transformation. From these richly revealing connections we cultivate honest, loving, and caring relationships with our partner which then gets transferred into all other relationships.
Over the years I’ve successfully guided partnered individuals who are experiencing anxiety, confusion and disconnection. From those in the straits of relationship disaster to those who anxiously walk on egg shells to avoid conflict, I teach a form of authentic communication which creates the kind of understanding and empathy which frequently was never thought even possible. From this new place a more genuine and loving relationship can occur, one that has greater respect and caring for the beloved other.
Working in therapy with me in my approach brings you into the awareness of how you’re engaging with your partner in the present moment, i.e. is it critical, harsh and judging or accepting, empathetic and loving. If it’s not the latter, I endeavor to help each partner take responsibility for their own actions for what’s being created. This reduces blame and victim-hood (i.e. it’s all his or her fault) and increases personal ownership in transforming the dynamic that had been created. In couples counseling this results in the elimination of emotionally destructive cycles which then opens the possibility for more mutuality and feelings of acceptance in being oneself.
Overall my approach develops the capacity for healthy emotional attachment while at the same time creating greater self-differentiation. This means being able to be close to your partner without sacrificing or losing valuable parts of yourself in the process. Our work together in couples therapy identifies areas of enmeshment that dilute passion so that when healed create greater desire and emotional connectedness for deeper, fuller intimacy.